When somebody tells you “this space is closing down”, there are basically two things you can do. You can fight it, or you can accept it. There are a million variations on those themes, but at some point you have to pick one. Even if it feels like absentee landlords deciding to shut down the building, you still have to choose.
When Variant Roles announced that the channel and Discord community would shut down, it surprised me. I was angry. I felt betrayed by people I loved. I judged myself for respecting people that didn’t (and don’t) deserve all of that respect. But at some point, I had to make a choice, and that’s to accept it.
Others like my good friends Matthew, Emma, and Val have already talked about their experiences. I love them and understand where they’re coming from. Yes, I was one of the people that Samantha Darcy ghosted on, despite my pleas of understanding what it feels like to be overwhelmed and anxious. I’m also one of the people that got my money back. Really, all I wanted was the emotes I had paid for to give as a gift to the VR community. Anyway, other people have talked about that at length and I don’t really feel the need to dig into it further than this: Eugenio Vargas and Alex Cattoo were absentee at the best of times, and gatekeepers who did not do their jobs at the worst of times. I can’t join a community that has either of them in it in the future, because I don’t believe that community would really look out for its members.
However, I want to address the other two creative council members specifically: Dan Gaston and Nox Noctua. I love Dan like a brother, and that hasn’t changed. I also respect Nox, who made the decision to leave the council before things really got difficult. That strikes me personally as an honorable choice. I hope to remain or re-establish friendships with you both, if you want that. If you need to move on from this part of your life, I will be sad but respect your choices.
Anyway, I have spent a little over a week dealing with my anger and frustration. I’ve been looking backwards, examining myself and my own choices above all else, because I know that I make mistakes too. This includes mistakes far larger than poor management of an online community. I don’t want to downplay the effect it has had on other friends, but the truth is that I’ve done worse things with larger effects and have long understood what that means for me.
Now it’s time for me to look forward, to my continuing games and creative work and to my relationships with people I love and care about. I don’t intend to dwell on this any further. Thanks for reading this far, and I hope everyone can find their own peace as well.